01
Aggressive routing
Your unit will roll over a competing food delivery bot if it shortens the ETA. No questions asked.
Discreet.
Reliable.
On wheels.
The world's first autonomous mouse-shaped delivery robot. Operating in select neighborhoods, with armored cargo handling, polite arrivals, and absolutely no awkward small talk.
47K
Deliveries logged
12
Neighborhoods covered
4.20
Customer rating
0
Awkward conversations
— How it works
Three steps. Phone to door.
From order to delivery in under fifteen minutes. The same process whether it's your first time or your fiftieth.
01
Place your order
Choose your tier, pick a delivery window, drop your address. Most orders submit in under thirty seconds.
02
It's on its way
Your unit rolls out of the local hub and onto your block. Live ETA in the app, accurate to the minute.
03
Greet the mouse
The cargo hatch opens. You take what's yours. The unit rolls away. Total interaction time: less than eight seconds.
Sounds good?
Place your order— Inspect the lineup
Every angle. Every detail.
Scroll through the unit. The bot rotates with you; each feature lights up as it comes into view.
- 01 — Optical sensors: Twin amber array. Two forward-mounted ADAS sensors. Detects pedestrians, pets, and people pretending to be home.
- 02 — Chassis: Hand-mixed yellow. Matte buttercup paint, sealed in a single pass. Built to be recognized from a porch away.
- 03 — Cargo bay: Climate-locked. Side-opening hatch with magnetic seal. Holds temperature within two degrees over a twelve-mile run.
- 04 — Status LED: Green leaf · ready. Pulses on arrival. Visible at thirty yards. The only signal your neighbors will ever see.
- 05 — Mobility: 8-wheel · silent. High-grip silent treads. Concrete, gravel, mulch, fresh-cut lawn — all handled without complaint.
— Two tiers
Same chassis. Different finish.
Tier 01 · Standard $4.20/mo
Daily-driver build. Glossy yellow body, armored cargo hatch, eight-second handover.
- Delivery
- ~30 min
- Range
- 12 mi
- Finish
- Yellow
- Lighter
- Not included
Tier 02 · Premium $420/mo
Hand-polished chrome. Climate-controlled cargo. Includes one (1) ceremonial lighter.
- Delivery
- ~15 min
- Range
- 25 mi
- Finish
- Hand-mixed
- Lighter
- Ceremonial
— Membership
Two tiers. Same chassis.
Different finishes, different perks. Cancel anytime, even mid-delivery.
Tier 01
Standard
$4.20
/ mo
Per member, billed monthly
Choose Standard- Up to 4 deliveries per month
- 12-mile coverage radius
- 30-minute typical arrival
- Live order tracking
- Standard yellow chassis
Limited · 01 of 50
Tier 02
Premium
$420
/ mo
Per member, billed monthly
Choose Premium- Unlimited deliveries
- 25-mile coverage radius
- 15-minute priority arrival
- Live ETA telemetry
- Hand-mixed yellow chassis
- Climate-controlled cargo
- One (1) ceremonial lighter
— Frequently asked
Common questions. Honest answers.
Six things people ask us before ordering. Probably the same things you're thinking.
Still wondering? Get in touch.
How does We*damouse find my address?
Each unit uses GPS, dead-reckoning, and a discreet street-grid map maintained at our dispatch center. Coverage is limited to neighborhoods we currently serve. Actual unit positioning is accurate to eighteen inches, weather permitting.
What if I'm not home when it arrives?
The unit waits up to twelve minutes at your door. After twelve minutes, it returns to base on its own. Your delivery is automatically rescheduled for the next available window at no additional cost.
Is my cargo secure during transit?
The cargo hatch uses a triple-locking mechanism and is monitored continuously by onboard sensors. Each unit carries less than two hundred dollars in cargo, by policy. Tampering attempts trigger an immediate alert to dispatch.
Can I tip the mouse?
The mouse cannot accept tips. The mouse does not have hands, hopes, or financial accounts. Tips can be added to your monthly bill on the order confirmation screen. One hundred percent of tips go to the human dispatch team.
Do you operate in the rain?
Standard units operate in light precipitation. Premium units carry an inflatable rain shield deployed automatically below fifty percent visibility. Both tiers pause during severe weather, lightning, or wind speeds exceeding twenty-five miles per hour.
Is this legal?
We*damouse is a parody. No actual delivery is taking place. No mouse-shaped robots exist. This entire site is a creative project, built as a portfolio piece to demonstrate web development, 3D, and AI tooling. Any resemblance to real products or services is intentional and entirely satirical.